Ooh! I finally get a visitor! Welcome to my river, dear traveller. Would you like to join me? Strip down and wade in. It's been an eon since I've had company here. I trespassed here several decades ago and the river spirit that used to live in its depths cursed me to remain confined by its banks for the rest of eternity!
I promise you'll be safe. I don't have nearly the magical power that mean spirit had. I can't change you from a human man into a water nymph like she did to me. (But I'm pretty sure after we make love, I can use that emotional tether to swap our bodies.)
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