I placed second in the new hit television game show Unnatural Selection. The premise is relatively simple: a crowd of contestants race through a large obstacle course, battling to be the first to finish. Many don't finish at all though because in addition to the competitors being allowed "full contact," (we can disable opponents in any nonlethal manner) audience members were given paintball guns. The paintball pellets would be detected by the network of nanites swimming throughout each contestant and each hit would result in a drastic physical alteration.
I was hit 4 times throughout my run. The first turned me caucasian. I barely paused. The second changed my sex and I was suddenly a tall white woman. Knowing that only the winner of the contest could reverse any changes, I doubled down and raced confidently toward the finish line. The third pellet changed my height and apparent age. I raced ever closer to the end looking like petite young jailbait. But now it was harder for spectators to hit me and my opponents felt worse about hitting a little girl. I was in 1st place, lithely attacking each challenge, until feet from the finish line I was hit a 4th and final time. I was staggering across the finish line on stunted limbs when a large woman with an enormous beard and elven ears jumped past me to secure her win.
The champion had her changes reversed but my second place finish still awarded me a large pot of prize money. Enough to live comfortably no matter what I look like. (Especially if I agree to appear for the show's press events. My story has made me a fan favorite.)
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